“I say you brought this upon yourself, Tohma-kun,” Noriko Ukai mused.

“Can’t you be even the slightest bit sympathetic, Norkio-san?”

Tohma was on his knees on the cold, concrete floor of his cell, grasping his bars for upper body support to look Noriko in the eye. “C’mon, Noriko-san, you’re husband’s a university professor and successful food critic! For the love of God, bail me out!”

“Yoink!” Norkio grabbed Ryuichi, who was trying to make Kumagoro insert the key he had stolen from the guard teddy into the lock in Tohma’s cell, by the ear and pulled him towards her.  “During the night, Ryu-chan!”

Ryuichi started to cry loudly. “Don’t worry, Tohma! Me an’ Kumagoro’ll bust ya outta here, buddy!”

Noriko let go of Ryuichi’s ear and allowed him to chew on Kumagoro’s ear while she spoke to Tohma. “Y’know, Tohma-kun, this wouldn’t have happened if you had just had Ryu-chan hit him with a Kumagoro Beam, taken him to the police while he was knocked out, and get some statements from Maa, Ken, Eiri Yuki and everyone else who could give evidence against Aizawa and he’d be the one to end up in jail."

Tohma surveyed Noriko with an expression of both agreement and disdain. Then he smiled. “Too bad you got hitched to Tetsuya-san, Noriko-san… I could’ve married you instead.”

Noriko smirked. “Like I would’ve accepted.” The two ex-Nittle Graspers shared a moment of understanding while Ryuichi scaled the stone wall next to Tohma’s cell with ACME suction cups, searching for hollow spots to smash and help his friend escape. “Speaking of which, Tohma-kun… where’s your wife at a time like this anyway?”

Tohma picked himself up from the cold stone floor and plopped himself down on his mattress, which wasn’t much softer. “Off in Bulgaria somewhere, probably prostituting herself or something. God, what a dumb bitch. Four months pregnant and you jet of to Europe, leaving your loving husband to be arrested? Jesus.”

Noriko’s mouth fell open and Ryuichi fell off of the wall, yet again proving that ACME products work only in theory. “Tohma-kun, c’mere,” Noriko beckoned Tohma with her index finger to the bars of his cage. He complied, sticking his face out of the gap in between the bars of his cell.

“Yes?” Tohma enquired, gazing up at his former bandmate.

Noriko surveyed Tohma with quiet disgust, before slapping him in the face, causing the side of Tohma’s face to slam against the metal bars, causing immense pain.

Tohma’s face shot back into his cell and he started rubbing his cheeks where his face had hit the bars. “Ow! Shit, Noriko! What the Hell was that for?!”

Ryuichi’s arms started flailing wildly and he started spinning around rapidly. “Norikio-chan, Norkio-chan, Noriko-chaaaaan! Waaaaaahh!”

“How could you insult my friend-your wife!- like that, Tohma!? No wonder she left you, her ‘loving husband’, to get some damn peace for a while!

Tohma smirked. “Which leaves me with a few more weeks with Eiri-san.”

Just when Noriko was about to throttle Tohma and call him a heartless, cheating, misogynist shithead of a bastard, Ryuichi, oblivious to their conversation, pointed down the alleyway of cells and concrete and yelled joyfully, “Shuichi!”

Shuichi Shindou was speeding towards Tohma’s cell at a rate of 67896mph, skidding to a halt sixteen feet from his destination, then ran back to the cell, grabbed two of the bars and proceeded to snap them, jump into Tohma’s cell and began to throttle him, then started tto punch him in the face, each punch synchronized with each syllable he bellowed gleefully.

“Ha-ha-Se-gu-chi-jail-for-you-mo-ther-fu—"

“Sit, Shuichi!” came the cold, commanding voice of Eiri Yuki.

Shuichi plopped himself onto the concrete floor , splashing everyone in the area with vast amounts of Tohma’s blood.

“Could you repeat that for me, please, big brother?” Eiri spat, feigning oblivity, his voice consumed with venom and hatred.

During the most tense moment of the life of everyone surrounding Tohma’s cell, a cool, collected and sinister voice rang out from the other end of the aisle; Ryuichi had slipped away unnoticed. “While I’d really hate to miss the party,” he mocked, “I’ve got better things to do with my time. You guys piddle around with your melodrama and give me a call when you’re done; I dropped out of filming on Kumagoro’s Revenge for this crap.”

Shuichi started to whimper while on his knees and extended his hand towards Ryuichi. “Sa-Saku…ma…-san…”

Ryuichi Sakuma winked at Shuichi and said quietly, “Hugs and kisses, Shuichi,” his voice reverberating off of the stone walls, before closing the steel door and leaving the four of them to piddle around with their melodrama.